A Good Strong Lead

I have been taking tango lessons for almost two months now and can honestly say I’m hooked. The dance of tango is an intimate, spontaneous act that requires absolute trust in your partner’s abilities. And as I have mentioned before, I have issues allowing the guy to lead. But two weekends ago, I took an intensive beginner’s workshop through the Washington DC Argentine Tango Marathon festival, which was highlighted by the amazing instruction of Josh Rigley. Throughout the entire workshop, something became more and more evident: a good, strong lead is paramount. Because tango is an improvisational dance, the only way the follower (usually the woman) knows which steps to take next is through physical cues given by the man. If he wants her to move her left foot, he must signal this through gentle pressure on her left side via his chest. If his signals are not clear, the woman has no way of knowing what step to take next.

This same lesson can easily be applied to my dating life. Without the right signals from a guy, I have no clue what to do next. I can understand if a guy is too shy to make the first move, but once that hurdle is passed (and the woman has expressed interest), the guy should be more clear about his interests. Truth be told, I tend to be a bit impatient (that’s the Aries in me…something I’m working on…really, I’m totally working on it). I freely admit one of my biggest dating problems is my fickle nature and short attention span. So if I’m not getting any clear signals from a guy, even if I’m completely into him, I will eventually move on. While I agree it is important to take it slow and maybe keep your feelings close to the chest while getting to know someone, there should also be some signs to let the other person know you like them. Because if the man doesn’t give his partner a good, strong lead, she just may walk off the dance floor (and away from him) for good.


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6 responses to “A Good Strong Lead

  1. Joy the Baker

    Please allow me this super girlie moment. Cute Shoes!!!

  2. dcmart

    It’s essential to find meaning in those often overlooked things. I guess that’s why they say the best way to judge a man is to watch him dance! Ole!

  3. City Girl DC

    I’m with Joy – very cute shoes!
    And I agree with you. The guy should initially take the lead when it comes to dating. Think about how long it takes us just to get ready for a date. We should be rewarded for the effort! 🙂

  4. DC Newbie

    Half the reason I am in tango is for the shoes!

    DCMart – You are absolutely right…a man’s moves on the dance floor speaks volumes!

  5. greyhoundcelebrity

    Hola chica! Okay, you know I have to comment about the strong lead–I think it would be better to say a *clear* lead. A man can have a strong lead and be a complete disaster, as you’ve witnessed. Some of the best leaders in tango have an incredibly gentle lead–as in “This man is leading me to do this and I have NO IDEA how but it’s amazing!” Also, it’s a 2-way street–the follower also needs to be open and actively listening to the leader. I think you can work that into your relationship metaphor too 😉
    BTW, you clearly need more greyhound on your blog.

  6. DC Newbie

    Point taken on the term clear lead…’cause we all know Sulu practically places a choke hold on his dance partners and that sucks! But you know I don’t pay attention to what a guy says…especially if there is food on the table! Hmmm, maybe you have a point there too!

    And yes, I do need more greyhound on my blog…hence the Kelly dog photo shoots!

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