Top Chef Rant…

Okay, I have just finished watching this week’s episode of Top Chef and if you have TiVo’d it and don’t want to know the results, don’t read beyond the jump. But to say I am PISSED is an understatement…

Let me first start with Spike…Spike is that guy in high school who instead of doing his work relied on his “charm” to get away with everything. Even worse, he’s NOT THAT GOOD OF A CHEF! He claims he is a whiz at Vietnamese food but he couldn’t even do a simple spring roll! Just listening to his sleazy comments make me want to run and take a shower. Why the fuck is this guy still here?!?!?! Oh that’s right because he’d throw his mother under the bus if it meant he could get further along.

Now on to Lisa…Dear, bitchy, stick-up-her ass Lisa. She continually has this sour look on her face and oh wait, she also loves throwing people under the bus. She’s been up on the elimination block just as much, if not more than Spike, but yet she’s still here. She puts on these airs as if she has such a great palate and she’s this amazing chef but she’s fucked up time and time again.

So Dale (who everyone on the show didn’t like, but I personally loved) gets stuck with these two and surprise they fuck up and throw him under the bus. Yes Dale was the executive chef but the dishes the judges hated the most were LISA’S!!!! Spike’s got his thumb up his ass in the front of the house (apparently picking out napkins that reminded Bourdain of Prince’s boudoir van), which if I were a customer would have made me throw up. Dale may have been an egotist, but (and this is a big but) he had the skills to back it up. He won, or came close to winning, more quick fire and elimination challenges than anyone save Richard and Stephanie (although if I did the math, it probably would have been a tie). But because he was saddled with tweedle dee and tweedle dumb ass, he’s off the show! Fuck me, I’m pissed!

I wanted Dale to be in the final four with Richard, Stephanie and Antonia. Now, somehow Spike or Lisa – two of the most UNDESERVING chefs in all of Top Chef history – are going to slide their way into the final. They don’t deserve it…they’re nowhere near on par with Richard, Stephanie, Antonia or Dale’s level of expertise, skill or talent. Hell, I’m better than Spike and I have no formal training! My only hope is that Spike and Lisa go out in a huge flame of dis-glory and the world sees them for who they are: talentless hacks who have the morals of an alley cat.

Did I mention I was pissed?

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Top Chef Rant…

  1. That sucks. Yeah, I stopped watching the show when we were off getting married, but I was not compelled upon returning home, to return to the show. Spike is awful! I can’t believe he is still there!

  2. I hear ya . . . Dale’s comes across as a prick . . . but he has mad skillz. Lisa should have gone home. I was certain Lisa was going home. With all of Dale’s wins and top-three finishes, how could he be sent home under the circumstances?

    Now, unlike you, I’m not as skilled in the kitchen as Spike . . . I’m certain that everyone on the show from the get-go would kick my a$$ in the kitchen. But you’ll have your chance to tell the man to his face . . . my understanding is that he’s opening a restaurant on Capital Hill. You should show up and challenge him to a throw-down!

  3. JennDZ – Spike should have been out of there a long time ago. I have no clue why the judges haven’t seen him for what he really is: a jackass with no skills to back it up.

    FRM – I’ve had your food…I think you could at least tie with Spike! And I heard he was opening a burger place in the District…not the least bit impressed.

  4. How in the world did Dale go when the guest judge and DC chef (got to love Minibar) said how much he loved Dales dessert and was “writting it down in his book”?

    Makes no sense, I think if Tom hadn’t been away, Dale would still be around!

    Amanda from DCMetrocentric

  5. I totally agree! I heard he got kicked off so I didn’t even watch the episode, actually I have stopped watching. Lisa totally needs to be gone. Antonia, Stephanie, Richard and Dale should have been in the final 4, with Dale making it to the final 2. They keep saying its about the food, not the personality, so why is Lisa still there!!!

  6. Amanda – I agree totally with you about Tom and how his presence would have saved Dale. I still believe he was seriously robbed!

    Debyi – Oh yeah! I rejoiced when they got rid of Spike! He’s an ass, he was unbelievably disrespectful to the guest judge and he made such amateur mistakes, it’s a wonder he got this far in the competition. I am glad that Antonia, Stephanie and Richard made it to the final four but Lisa has absolutely NO business being there.

    I can’t believe I get this worked up about a cooking show…

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