Dear Santa,
I’ve been good this year…well, I mean I’ve been fairly good. Okay, I’ve been about 49 percent good this year, but considering my track record that’s like, super good. But I digress…this letter isn’t about the adult me. This is about the Shaw Girl of Christmas past. The sweet, happy, innocent little Shaw Girl who believed in you and was really, really good. Remember the letter I sent you when I was five? You must remember because I even included glitter in the envelope as an enticement (well, the glitter I didn’t eat…I had a thing for craft supplies at that age). That was the year I pleaded for an Easy Bake oven…the ultimate gift to a budding foodie. How I yearned for an Easy Bake oven…something to bring my delicious creations to life. My friend Cheryl had one but she wouldn’t let me use it…she mocked my lack of Easy Bake oven status. But I knew if I was good enough and if my letter was heart felt enough, I too would have an Easy Bake oven to call my own…boy was I wrong.
Now Santa, I understand how things could be overlooked one year. You’re a very busy man and have so much on your plate around this time of year. But I asked for that same DAMN delightful Easy Bake oven for three fuckin‘ blissful years. And yet, I never got it under the tree. So why am I writing to you now? To show you that I didn’t need that Easy Bake oven. Look at what I can make…in an oven not powered by a light bulb. I’m not bitter…I’m not sad. I’m not blaming you for my issues with disappointment. But I am throwing these scones in your face.
XOXO,
Shaw Girl
Chocolate Coconut Walnut Scones
2 cups all purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 tablespoons sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cups milk
10 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut into cubes
1/2 cup unsweetened coconut
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1/2 cup bittersweet chocolate (I used Valrhona chocolate, thanks to a fabulous gift from Food Rockz Man – who truly rockz!), chopped into bite sized chunks
Preheat oven to 450
In a mixing bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, sugar and salt. Cut in the butter cubes and work it into the dry ingredients until a crumbly meal is formed. Add the walnuts, coconut and chocolate and slowly add the milk. Using a fork, combine the ingredients until a sticky dough is formed. On a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, drop heaping tablespoons of the dough (the bigger you want the scones, the bigger the definition of “heaping”). Bake the scones for 12-15 minutes or until golden.
Eat your heart out Santa!
Ahahaha this post rocks.
Excellent post 🙂 I had the same experience with the same guy when I was a little girl. E-Z Bake was my biggest dream at 5 yrs old. Throw a couple of scones from me!!
I am totally making these for Christmas morning. My BIL who doesn’t like walnuts and my boyfriend who doesn’t like coconut can eat something else.
🙂